Friday 29 March 2013

The Many Moods Of Ian Duncan Smith

Is he a Hog?  Is he a Tiger?   Is he a Puffer-fish??  Was he in fact a member of a tripped-out, free-lovin’ Hippie Commune before joining the Communist Party in the early seventies, only to disappear into London’s seedy underworld of petty crime before eventually resurfacing as a government minister?  Both sensitive and caring, not afraid to show his feminine side, yet quaintly animalistic in Mind and Body – who is this football-headed bundle of seeming contradictions that goes by the long-winded name of Ian Duncan-Smith?  Your intrepid reporter spent several long and tedious weeks on the trail of the Great Hog… and yet somehow, the essence of this beautiful man still seems to elude us, to slip from our grasp….  his spirituality too subtle somehow to be put into mere words – let us follow him, as he wallows ever deeper in filth, degradation and misery….  As he puffs out his billowing jowls in a fervent attempt to consume, ravish and devour the down-trodden underclass of Britain…

                                                      
                                                      
Spread the Good News!  Pass out a couple of flyers…